let AI read first part of shakespears Macbeth – and ask it to rewrite it as if set in modern times .
original :
Duncan. What bloody man is that? He can report,
As seemeth by his plight, of the revolt
The newest state. 20
Malcolm. This is the sergeant
Who like a good and hardy soldier fought
‘Gainst my captivity. Hail, brave friend!
Say to the king the knowledge of the broil
As thou didst leave it. 25
Sergeant. Doubtful it stood;
As two spent swimmers, that do cling together
And choke their art. The merciless Macdonwald—
Worthy to be a rebel, for to that
The multiplying villanies of nature 30
Do swarm upon him—from the western isles
Of kerns and gallowglasses is supplied;
And fortune, on his damned quarrel smiling,
Show’d like a rebel’s whore: but all’s too weak:
For brave Macbeth—well he deserves that name— 35
Disdaining fortune, with his brandish’d steel,
Which smoked with bloody execution,
Like valour’s minion carved out his passage
Till he faced the slave;
Which ne’er shook hands, nor bade farewell to him, 40
Till he unseam’d him from the nave to the chaps,
And fix’d his head upon our battlements.
Duncan. O valiant cousin! worthy gentleman!
Sergeant. As whence the sun ‘gins his reflection
Shipwrecking storms and direful thunders break, 45
So from that spring whence comfort seem’d to come
Discomfort swells. Mark, king of Scotland, mark:
No sooner justice had with valour arm’d
Compell’d these skipping kerns to trust their heels,
But the Norweyan lord surveying vantage, 50
With furbish’d arms and new supplies of men
Began a fresh assault.
Duncan. Dismay’d not this
Our captains, Macbeth and Banquo?
Sergeant. Yes; 55
As sparrows eagles, or the hare the lion.
If I say sooth, I must report they were
As cannons overcharged with double cracks, so they
Doubly redoubled strokes upon the foe:
Except they meant to bathe in reeking wounds, 60
Or memorise another Golgotha,
I cannot tell.
But I am faint, my gashes cry for help.
Duncan. So well thy words become thee as thy wounds;
They smack of honour both. Go get him surgeons. 65
[Exit Sergeant, attended]
Who comes here?
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Here is an attempt to rewrite the opening lines from Macbeth in a more modern English as if it was set in modern day England:
The Prime Minister: What bloody man is that? He looks like he’s just come from the riots based on how banged up he is.
Malcolm: This is the sergeant who fought bravely like a solid soldier against the hooligans who took me hostage. Hey mate, great job! Tell the PM what went down after you left.
Sergeant: It was madness. Like two exhausted swimmers clinging together and drowning each other. The merciless MacDonald – total scumbag who deserves to be a rebel with all his sick crimes. He brought hooligans and thugs from all over to join him. And it seemed like luck was on his side the dirty cheater. But it wasn’t enough.
Because brave Macbeth – and he’s earned that name – didn’t care about MacDonald’s luck. He charged in with his blood-stained knife, cutting through the rabble like an assassin, until he faced the head honcho. Never shook his hand or said goodbye, just gutted him chin to torso and stuck his head on a spike.
PM: What a heroic cousin! Top notch gentleman!
Sergeant: It was like when the sun comes out after a storm wrecking ships and thunder cracking. Just when things seemed good as I got away, it got worse. Listen PM, listen closely. Right after justice came when the brave lads forced those hooded cowards to run off, the Norwegian mob boss saw his chance. He came back with more weapons and thugs for a new attack.
PM: But not even that phased Macbeth and Banquo right?
Sergeant: Yes! They charged in roaring louder than lions at scared bunnies. They were like overcharged cannons firing nonstop at the enemies. It was a bloodbath, like they wanted to bathe in guts, or make another Golgotha. I can’t even describe it. I’m about to faint here, my cuts are screaming.
PM: Well said mate, despite those wounds. You look and talk like a true hero. Go get him a medic!
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and now set in caveman era…
Here’s an attempt to rewrite the opening of Macbeth as if it was set in prehistoric times with cavemen and dinosaurs:
Tribal Chief: What bloody man that? Him look like come from big fight with other cavemen.
Malcolm: This Og. Og good caveman who fight brave like warrior against bad cavemen who take Malcolm. Hello Og! Tell Chief what happen after you go.
Og: It madness. Like two swimmer who too tired, grab each other and sink. Merciless MacDonald – he worst caveman ever who deserve be rebel for all bad deeds. He bring many bad cavemen from other tribes to join fight. And luck show favor to him, but not enough.
Because brave Macbeth – and he earn name – not care about MacDonald luck. Macbeth charge with bloody club, bash all enemies like beast, until he face MacDonald. No shake hand or say goodbye, just smash MacDonald head to toes and put head on spike.
Chief: Ah, you good cousin Og! Good caveman!
Og: It like when sun come out after storm smash trees and thunder roar loud. Just when Og escape and things look good, things get bad again. Listen Chief, listen close. Right after justice come when brave cavemen make bad cavemen run away, Norwegian tribe boss see chance. He come back with more clubs and cavemen for new attack.
Chief: But Macbeth and Banquo not scared either?
Og: Yes! They charge roaring louder than sabre-tooth tigers at little mammals. They like overcharged volcanoes shooting hot rock at enemies. It bloodbath, like they want bathe in guts, or make another Mountain of Skulls. Og not can even say how bad it is. Og so tired, wounds hurt much.
Chief: You speak good despite wounds Og. You look and talk like true warrior. Go get wise healer woman for Og!